A list of lessons

Kinley is already a year and a half! This past year and a half has brought on a lot of self reflection. I think all new moms go through this. It's not just you anymore. When I reflect on high school I see how small that time was. Every problem seemed so big, yet it was so tiny compared to the things I have faced on the outskirts of the town I grew up in. I barely recognize myself from back then to the person I am today. When reflecting on the college years I see how I started to truly live and find out who I was. Even within the past 5 years I have learned a ton about the people around me and how the "real world" works. In celebration for surviving the first year and a half as a new mom, I wrote down these lessons and/or insights I have gained over time so that I may one day share them with Kinley. I am sharing this with you also, so that you may be encouraged to write a list for your son, daughter, or younger family member too. While reading, remember that I am in no way perfect and some of these I am continuing to work on myself.  I am scared that as I grow older I will forget these insights, so now is my time to share!!! Enjoy!

1. Your brain and your heart will often give you a different opinion. In my experience, neither is always right. reflect on what both are telling you and make your choices carefully.

2. I see you like no one else does. My mom always used to tell me that she loves me in a way that she can't explain and that one day I would understand. The past year and a half has made her point crystal clear. There is nothing you could do or say that would change my love for you. My love is endless.

3. The popular choice is not always the right one. Standing alone in a decision is better than standing with others who are choosing wrong.

4. When you are doing something that doesn't feel right then it is probably wrong. Follow your gut.

5. Do not speak unkind words. If you have to whisper for fear of getting caught or fear of hurting others, then don't speak them at all.

6. Be open to others who are different from you politically, religiously, culturally. You just may learn something and realize that you are more alike than you think.

7. Your wedding is something you will look forward to and want to plan years before you meet your match. Just remember that after the party is over you will be left with sore feet and the husband you chose. Choose wisley...I know I did.

8. Peer pressure is a strong force. If you beleive a choice or action is wrong then don't do it. I know it may feel like the world is against you, but I promise later on you won't regret it.

9.  Some choices that you make may make you "uncool" to others, however the same things that made you "uncool" then will be the things you are proudest of later.

10. I promise that the things I do not allow you to do are not because I am out to get you. I am protecting you from things that you cannot protect yourself from yet.

11. You get ONE body. It is yours and yours only. Take care of it and give it respect.

12. You will come in contact with people who do not like you no matter how great I tell you you are. These people will be either bitter or jealous. Be kind to them anyway and continue to live happily.

13. You cannot please everyone. If you try to you will end up being the unhappy one.

14. Spread God's light through actions by showing kindess, unselfishness, and good deeds to others. This will shine through stronger that any words you preach.

15. Sex can wait, I promise. A mom's wish for their daughter is for this irreplacable gift be given to your husband. I know that I cannot protect you from this, however I am going to try. I just ask that you choose very wisely. A huge piece of your heart will be given away that day and you cannot ever get it back.

16. You have filled my life with more joy and love than I can even begin to explain. Thank you for this precious gift.

17. High school is a time you use to find out who you are and how you want to be. Learn from the experiences and use them down the road. Your life is just beginning.

18. Having children is the best blessing live can give you, but you MUST live selfishly first. Experience plenty of life without children, so you can truly enjoy life with them. I am so greatful that I did this.

19. Heartbreak is awful. I believe that it is one of the worst pains you will know. I promise that it WILL pass. Know that when you experience this, I have been there and I am ready to love you through it.

20. Be the bigger person. ALWAYS. You won't regret it and the other person often ends up looking like a fool even if you don't see it.

21. I was born with a gift of seeing people's true intentions and almost always judge a person's character correctly. If you have this gift listen to it.

22. Beauty fades on the outside. Be beautiful on the inside too.

23. Do not change your beliefs, morals, or goals for anyone. If they are meant to be in your life then they will just fit.

24. If your father, mother, or family does not like someone you are dating or hanging out with there is probably a reason. Ask why and actually listen.

25. Speak your mind respectfully and follow your heart. For years I bottled up my thoughts and opinions for fear of being judged. DON'T DO THIS. "Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway."